Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

“As I was walking down the street one day, a pretty lady looked at me and said her diamond watch had stopped cold dead” And I said, “Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care (about time)? You know, I can’t imagine why. We’ve all got time enough to cry.”

Robert Lamm, Chicago

https://youtu.be/9FzCWLOHUes?si=A4m2FCjXGM3F5gg2

Hi, Everybody-

This Christmas will be profoundly different from ones I have experienced in recent years. On December 6^th, my husband’s younger sister Amy was killed in a horrendous car accident, when a truck sped through a red light at an intersection in Michigan. Ron and I had just spent 3 beautiful days with Amy and her husband Thomas at their home during Thanksgiving. We are shocked and devastated by this sudden loss that followed such a rich and happy holiday time. Amy leaves behind her husband, her parents, two brothers, a sister, 4 nephews, many cousins and close friends. A passionate environmentalist, activist and lover of antiques, Amy had been on her way back from looking at some vintage items for sale, 40 minutes from her home.

As I struggle to find meaning and make sense of Amy’s death, I decided to see what would come out of my heart in this December blog.

A few weeks ago I noticed on Instagram the whimsical creations of a friend, Vinny Cartiglia

(HeART Space: Handcrafted from the heart, inspired by the past). Check out his Instagram @framed_and_bejeweled_vjc. The collection that caught my eye is titled “Snowflakes”.

I met Vinny in 2014, when he was managing a florist’s shop in Ft. Lauderdale. He allocated a space in the shop for me to sell my crazy Wow Street ties and my palm frond creations. He never charged me a commission, because he “just wanted to see me succeed.” He and his partner also became my newest fans, coming to support me in the venues where I performed. I never forgot his kindness and generosity. We’ve continued to stay in touch, through all kinds of life-changes, good and bad.

When I saw Vinny’s collection of Christmas trees, snowmen/snow women, and wreaths that were assembled from vintage jewelry and set in vintage frames, I fell in love with the snowgirl (seen here) and spontaneously named her Frio Kahlo. I sent Vinny a text: “Hi-did you sell the little snowman made from watches?” His reply: “No, she’s always too busy on her phone and shopping, asking if anybody really knows what time it is...” which made me start connecting some dots. Kindred spirits can often supply the most brilliant food for thought without even knowing they did it. Vinny, you and your sparkling creations have given me a way to express my grief that makes sense to me.

I have always had a “thing” about snowmen and I happen to have a “thing” about that song by Chicago-both impact me viscerally, on an existential level. If Frosty the Snowman didn’t have any conception of present moment awareness, he never would have decided to run and have some fun with all the children, before he melted away. He sensed his time on earth was short. There would be “time enough to cry” later on. If you remember the ending of this classic movie, the puddle of the melted snowman, combined with the children’s tears, is touched by a cold winter wind, and Frosty’s form is restored. I once tried to impart my theory of consciousness to a group of kindergartners. “Don’t you think Frosty had courage?” I asked them. They stared at me. They just wanted to get to the end of the song and scream, “Thumpety thump-thump”, while pounding the floor. It’s okay if you laugh. That is the comedy and tragedy of being human.

Snowmen are temporal. They have a limited lifespan, based on the conditions of their environment. Created in a spirit of cooperation and magic, they bring us so much joy! We love them for as long as they are here. We take pictures of them, sing songs about them and celebrate their individual quirky features. We are so sad when they melt away, leaving behind that unique, specific depression in the earth that could only have been made by them. Do you see where this is going? It’s okay if you cry….

I’m contemplating the little watches that Vinny cleverly used to create the snowgirl’s body. My neurons flash in a simultaneous explosion of associations: the symbol of the frozen watch, frozen snowmen, the lyrics to Chicago’s hit song and the musical elements that make it so brilliant: the freestyle piano introduction that seems to wander and play with time, the restless, changing time signatures in the opening section, the bold, pushy, truthful horns and harmonies, the lyrics that relentlessly demand an answer to the question, “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?”

 I’ve never liked wearing a watch; firstly, because I dislike the confining sensation of a watch on my wrist while I’m playing a keyboard or piano; secondly, because I’ve never liked the habit of constantly glancing at a watch, timing my every action or sentence; thirdly, I’ve had 2 expensive watches stolen from me when I took them off during a performance and set them down at the end of a hotel piano. It’s not that I don’t care about time itself. But what is it? Is our precious time literally apportioned to us via mere symbols of time: calendars, watches or clocks? “Does anybody really know what time it is? The vintage watches that are literally Frio Kahlo’s body have stopped working, yet she still is talking on her phone and animatedly gesturing, her head tilted, planning a shopping trip. I find this image comforting. Screw time, I’m going shopping. I’m living my best life.  

We don’t know what to do in the face of a sudden, devastating death of a loved one. Time seems to warp and Grief is the dangerous disruptor.  No matter what the watch, clock or calendar tells you, it’s not reliable. It can’t be 2pm. I just got up. It can’t be Christmas already, I celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday. I forgot to eat. I forgot to sleep. How did the sink get so full of dirty dishes? Did we actually eat? I can’t find the phone that I am holding in my hand. Night and day blur into a grey zone, punctuated by knee-jerk responses posing as daily routines. It truly is an alternate reality. Repairing the watch won’t make any difference. It’s broken. But you are not. YOU are not.

It’s up to us to create our lives within that betweeness- of the time we had before and the time we have remaining. We have no way of knowing how long our human life will be. Our longevity is determined by the conditions of our environments. As Robert Lamm’s lyrics conclude,“We’ve all got time enough to die”, and that is a fact; but there is not a period at the end of that sentence.

If I am to live the message of my book, “The Dancing Tree’s Secret”, I must continue to believe with my heart and soul, that living and dying are merely changes of form or matter, that those who have departed from their human forms retain their souls, their essence, to one day be reunited with their loved ones.

We are as stardust and snowflakes, ephemeral yet eternal, falling from the sky to the ground and rising up once more, restored through the breath of the Great Creator.

I wish you and your loved ones great peace, love, joy and safe travels during this holiday season.

Until Next Time x0x0x0 Annie