What a Learning Curve
- Anne Smith
- Jun 9
- 3 min read
Hi, Everybody-
It’s June, one of my most favorite months. My earliest recollections of June: the scent of peonies and lilacs in our backyard, school ending for the summer, baseball games droning on my mom’s transistor radio, relentless wiffle ball games with my brothers and sisters and fireflies starting to come out at night. The heat of summer wasn’t pressing in yet, and the giant elm trees in our neighborhood formed a lush green canopy over Main Street.
I just found out quite by chance that June is “Scoliosis Awareness Month”. My earliest recollections of my own diagnosis: adults barking, “Shoulders straight!” or “Stop hunching!”, as well as showing me what I looked like by imitating my posture, accompanied by vague threats about having to wear a body brace. Although I realize now that the comments and behavior were well-intentioned, these were not happy memories and I went through my teenage years feeling ashamed of my body. I always enjoyed running and physical activity that I could perform alone. I didn’t want anybody staring or noticing my body was different. While I didn’t dwell on the fact that my spine wasn’t straight, over time I avoided wearing certain things-and being in social situations where my deformity would be obvious-in swimwear, a backless dress or on a dance floor. Sitting behind a piano suited me just fine. I learned to camouflage my back with clothing. I thanked God-and my parents- for the gift of Music that came to me so easily and raised my self-esteem.
The doctors I consulted early on seemed to think that my curvature wasn’t all that bad, that stretching and exercise would keep it in check; they didn’t seem concerned- they’d “seen worse”, but inadvertent comments from other people around me let me know that it was apparent that my back was crooked and that my posture wasn’t correct. I have compensated for this imbalance since my pre-adolescent years, and by now, my patterns of moving have been habituated, for better or for worse. I’m used to walking, running, moving a certain way in order to feel balanced and avoid pain. I try to remind myself to square my shoulders and hold my head up before I step onto the porch every day. I check the Ring App to see if my posture looks okay, coming and going. It’s on my mind. Scoliosis does not improve over time. You don’t outgrow it. Surgery is an option at an early age but it’s brutal. There are better body braces being made now that can stabilize and improve one’s posture. I have found that Pilates has helped me quite a bit with stretching and balancing my body. I have been reading with renewed interest more articles on the subject, one of which featured an incredible dancer, Paige Fraser, who tours with The Lion King. Her positivity and strength is worth reading about.
I’ve learned that Kurt Cobain suffered greatly from scoliosis, and felt that the pain gave his music more meaning. A list of celebrities who have scoliosis includes: Chloe Sevigny, Daryl Hannah, Isabella Rossellini, Lamar Gant (World Record Power-lifter),
Renee Russo, Usain Bolt, Vanessa Williams, John Lydon (aka “Johnny Rotten”),
Yo-Yo Ma, and King Tutankhamen.
I was walking in my neighborhood a few days ago, and observed a young man coming toward me, with the aid of two elbow crutches. His legs were in braces. The street is very uneven, with many areas of patched cobblestone and crumbling asphalt: yet, he was gliding. He somehow was compensating around his challenges and his purposeful movement reminded me of a vertical, undulating infinity sign. I reflected on my own physical challenge and my self-loathing of it. Really? When I have so much to be grateful for? It was a learning curve, pun intended. It’s never too late too learn.
What I’m wanting you to “get” from this sort of revealing and self-conscious post, is that you never know what someone is struggling with, mentally or physically. I don’t want compliments or feedback that expresses sadness or anger that anyone would joke about scoliosis and its challenges. I don’t want sympathy or compassion-that would feel like pity to me. You don’t need to DO anything to help me. I own my situation, and I’m not a victim! While empathy seems like it would be the lesser response, it’s what the world needs more than anything else right now. I want you to realize that having empathy requires nothing from you other than to imagine, to yourself, “I wonder how I would feel if that were me?”
Until Next Time xoxox
Annie
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